yes it has been a while but i am now back. i have been so busy lately, well when i say busy what i really mean is wallowing in my own self misery! i was sitting there sinking into the sofa worrying about my weight, my life, my child. oh would you listen to that, its all about the me me me! selfishness had become my middle name and i was testing the patience of anyone unlucky enough to come into contact with me! well not anymore! how dare i sit there expecting the world to revolve around me and my needs. there are soldiers risking their lives every day, there are still people starving to death in this day and age and recently there has been almost a whole population wiped out by an earthquake! "what?" i have to ask myself, "do i have to be upset about?" i have the answer for you and it is, absolutely nothing! not a thing!
i have a beautiful daughter, who can test the patience of a saint but can make my heart leap with a single smile. i have a wonderful partner who tells me he loves me every single day. i have a nice place to live. some lovely caring friends. as well as a family who is always there for me. my life, i can be bold enough to say is somewhat perfect. so a decision has been made, no more self pitying nonsense. i am going to live my life to the best of my potential, with a beaming smile and a kind heart. watch out world there is a new me on the loose.
all the course work has arrived for my degree and instead of my usual rush in, hectic, silly start. i have taken it slowly, reading all the course work and setting myself a reasonable timetable. i have developed a contract that will be used once i have become registered and i get my own 'at home child care business' up and running. as well as securing a place on an early years first aid course in order to fill the conditions of becoming a legally registered childminder. i appreciate i have a lot on my plate but i really do think that has been my problem recently. i need things to do. i love to be organised, methodical and most of all busy! so a degree, a business and a child should keep me on my toes for a long while to come.
this means that i am a happy woman, everything is falling into place and there is honestly nothing missing from my life. nothing i could want or need. well . . . . . . . . . . . there is something. its been a little niggle for sometime now but i had dismissed it as hormones, that was until russ brought up the subject and i realised it wasn't just me. we have ummmed and we have arrrghed. we have pondered over the good bits and the bad bits. the subject has been discussed at length. the decision has been made. russ and i are going to try for another baby. soooooooo excited!