Monday, 5 July 2010

i cant stop!

before you all roll your eyes and groan this is a serious blog about a serious subject. obesity!

i have always had a bouncing weight problem, i have been skinny, just right and over weight. i know what i have to do to loose weight but at the moment i just can not stop eating! is it boredom, depression or just lack of will power? honestly i dont know. all i do know is that since imogen was born i seem to be getting bigger and bigger!

i have tried dieting and exercising but with all the best intentions in the world i end up falling back into bad habits! i have always joked around saying that im ok as long as my boobs stick out further than my belly! well i have just realised that they dont! i have never been small in the breast department and no matter what my weight was doing they stayed the same, buoyant and beautiful! now they are heavy and frankly painful.

obviously the health implications are at the back of my mind but i am honest enough to admit that it is my vanity that is hurting the most! russ says he loves me whatever and our relationship is back on track after a huge heart to heart and an amazing weekend together with the baby at grandmas. but i do not love myself!

i have come to the conclusion that i may actually have a problem and wonder if anyone knows what help there is out there for someone who compulsively binge eats? is it some kind of disorder or is it just laziness? either way i need help!