this post is inspired by a fellow blogger who is "bringing 'sexy' back." now im not jealous, (well maybe just a little) but after feeling a little low during the first year of motherhood she is now feeling better - good - sexy!
im so pleased for her, but . . . .
i used to turn heads, not necessarily because of my looks but my attitude
i used to feel sexy, funny and free
i used to feel good, comfortable in my own skin and enjoy my own body
i used to strut and oooze confidence
i used to watch russ watching me, pride and lust in his eyes
now i feel like ive lost my identity and my confidence. ive lost my spark, that glint in my eye and definitely, oh definitely lost my sexuality!
i am now 'mothership' an asexual robot required to clean house, look after baby and cook dinner! russ would rather watch the tele than me and the only beeps i get now is when im not concentrating and walk into an on coming car. only waking to the sound of 'oye fatty watch where your going!'
i have two weddings and a school reunion coming up and although im excited about all three, im also dreading it! i can see the photographs now. the sulky one in the corner with the ill fitting dress, yep thats me!
do you have to feel sexy to look sexy? is a sexy attitude all you really need? maybe nobody watches me because i cant be seen, sinking into the background. hmmmmmmm
where did i go?
what has happened to me?
i love being a mum but is that all i am?
is it possible to be me and a mum?
is sexy just attitude?